A blessed me

I am so blessed.

I am so blessed to the point I am guilty for what I'm having. 

I consider my old, current and future self as a sinner. As much as I'm keeping up with my relation with The One Above, my inner self is begging for His mercy to enter the jannah because I know, if it's based on solely my effort and amalan, I don't think it would be enough sobs. 

However, indeed he is Ar-Rahim.

I sometimes without realising, I hurt others with my words and actions, I postponed my prayers, took my aurah and ikhtilat lightly, and too many more sins that I believe I should just keep it silent between me and Him. But still, till today, I am granted with so many wonderful people, things, events that make me feel so happy, flattered and blessed. 

I know that when we are blessed with something and feel grateful about it, we should bertahmid; alhamdulillah or sujud syukur.  But I'm already at a point where I get so excited to tell the world that Allah's mercy is over anything in this world and God is very very very kind. ya Rahman ya Rahim. 

I am so happy for everything I have. My parents, my siblings, my opah, my wan, my big family from both sides of parents, my teachers from kindergarden until the present lecturers, old friends, new friends, health, education, Malaysia, my own society, neighbours, my family's life style, technology, the fact that I was born a Muslim and in love with it, working body parts, am able to eat anything i want (tq taste buds), like literally every single thing ya Allah i am so blessed 

so much sins yet very blessed.