one monthsary

It's 28th September. And I entered UM on 28th August. Happy anniversary (read monthsary lol), batch 160.

Degree life has started for like one month already and honestly, a little part of me is dying but it's the optimism that keep me going. How irony, it's just one month but I feel so worn out already. There are times when I feel like running away from responsibilities but damn it, this is reality and you have to face the music. This ain't a movie where you can run away from life, strolling down the park for some fresh air then you bump into a hero who's going to save your soul. Bullshit, life doesn't work such way. Face it, it's hard and nobody said it's going to be easy tho. 

I wouldn't say my life is so far going so good neither it's getting worse. It's like I'm stuck at the same place, same feelings. That's kinda frustrating because I wake up everyday to improve. It's not that I'm not improving day by day. I would say that I manage to adapt a little bit by bit, every single day but I feel so left behind. Cut to the chase, I feel lost. 

Syllabus is way too different than asasi life. Oh well, this isn't foundation anymore. This isn't Dengkil neither this is Shah Alam. Asasi life has ended. Gone. Move on, dearself. Sigh. Oh qausar you gotta wake up, dearself. This journey isn't going to be a walk in the park. 

I am currently sorting out life. I'm in the phase of sorting out my priorities which one comes first then second etc. And right now,  I'm trying so hard to not be hard on myself. I constantly remind myself to always look things on the bright side. When life is unbearable at some point, I don't stop myself from crying because that honestly makes me feel way better. Basically, right now, this moment, I am in the phase of a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it gets exciting yet terrifying and when I get terrified, 

that's when the emotional side in me conquered my whole self. Oh typical qausar, that's not something new /rolled eyes/ 

But hey, despite this hectic life, I am blessed with the support system I have. Family & friends. I honestly don't know what would I do without them. Of course there are times when I don't really feel like opening up to people to talk about me feeling stressed over something because I understand that we all are right now struggling. So I don't want me to act as a catalyst triggering them to feel worse. But I will always bear in mind, that they are always here with me. The fact that they are around and always check on me; asking how I'm doing, whether I'm okay or not, I am beyond grateful already. Looking at their faces and acknowledging their presence, I am truly relieved and blessed, syukur Ahamdulillah.

Thank you, Allah.

I appreciate this journey. 

Please ease not only for me ya Rabb, but for my friends and those who are struggling too.